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The Perfect Solution

from Variety Pack by Steel Wolf

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about

Michael Jaillon: guitar, vocals
Ellis Spanos: bass, vocals
Mark Adomaitis: drums, lead vocals

Music by Ed Kezys. Lyrics by Mark Adomaitis.

lyrics

Growin’ up, growin’ weed
Your parents never gave you money you’d need
You begged your mom, you begged your dad
Not to beat you every chance they had!
You went to church, you went to school
Your life was fucked up but you played it cool!
You had no friends, you had no cash
Your life was burning like a cigarette ash!

Your parents never came to your graduation,
Your friends never came when you’d call;
Your sponsor never came to your confirmation...
And you never came at all!

Feel like I’ve been heavily boozin’
Livin’ life of total confusion
It’s like some mad optical illusion
I gotta find, gotta find the perfect solution!

Got a girl, got a gun
Now I’m gonna have some fun!

The house is on fire! What should I do? Scrub my deck...
We have a flat tire! Your mother’s a liar! Your dad’s on the wire!

Born in a gutter, raised in another
You don’t have a father, you don’t have a mother
You tell your girlfriend “Gimme head!”
Now her brains are filled with lead!

Aural sects at gun point!

See a nun and just for fun
Whip it out, watch her run
You tell her to suck it, she says she’ll just pull it
Now the bitch bites the bullet!

Aural sects at gun point!

Everybody’s eatin’ your pubic beard
Bury’em in Vaseline, man, you’re weird
You got a gun to her head, she starts to cough
Now the bitch bites it off!

Aural sects at gun point!

Your life’s been ridiculous
You sucker for a real good time...
Now you are dickless because
You turned to a life of crime...

Take it up the…
Face the problem like a man!
Take it up the…
Spend a week on the can!

You rot in a prison cell
You’re lucky you’re not hangin’ by a rope!
But you’ll only start to feel the hell
When you bend to get the fuckin’ soap!

Take it up the…
Tho’ your insides’ll burn ‘n’ swell!
Take it up the…
And doncha use no KY gel!

Problems come and problems go
Make sure you just face them all head on...
And inside you will start to grow
Just remember this hole fuckin’ song!

Take it up the ass!
Doncha know what you must do?
Take it up the ass!
And for lubricant use crazy glue!

Feel like I’ve been heavily boozin’
Livin’ life of total confusion
It’s like some mad optical illusion
I gotta find, gotta find the perfect solution!

credits

from Variety Pack, released January 4, 2013

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Steel Wolf New York, New York

Steel Wolf is a Lithuanian-American rock band from Long Island, New York. Described as playing “music to incite a riot”, Steel Wolf took their name from Lithuanian folklore in 1982 and is still active today. Aside from archetypal venues, they perform annually at the ING NYC Marathon and Camp Giraite in Connecticut. "Steel Wolf blends punk anachronisms with Lithuanian mythology.” (Good Times) ... more

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